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Butler County Divorce Law Blog

You can divorce-proof your marriage during deployment

Many aspects of military life are difficult. Married service members often find dealing with a deployment particularly hard for them. There are some things that soldiers and their civilian spouses can do to divorce-proof their marriage while they're apart though.

You shouldn't wait until you're about to board a bus or airplane to discuss how you're going to stay in contact with one another. This is something that you should instead discuss as soon as you find out that you're being deployed. You should ask your commander what communication methods you may have available to you and come up with a schedule to keep in contact with your spouse.

How to parent your child effectively from a distance

Maybe you are a military mom or dad away on an overseas deployment. Or you could be working out of state, driving an 18-wheeler across the country, or even incarcerated or in a long-term rehab program. Regardless of the circumstances, you may be struggling to parent your children from a distance.

It's important that you do all that you can to facilitate that important parent-child connection. Otherwise, you could wake up one morning and find yourself estranged from your kids, and those breaches can be challenging to repair. Below are some suggestions for moms and dads to stay connected to their kids when life circumstances create distance.

How can you make your divorce less contentious?

While sometimes both spouses are committed to ending their marriage, divorce is often a one-sided endeavor that only the husband or wife wants. It's often in instances in which both parties aren't on board with calling it quits that divorces are most contentious. There are things that you can do to minimize the conflict as you discuss child custody and support, alimony and property division though.

One of the first things that you'll want to do soon after you decide that you're ready to divorce is to figure out how you're going to communicate with one another. You may want to keep all your correspondence with your soon-to-be ex in writing.

Don’t ask for a “trial by combat” in your pending divorce

Emotions often run high during a divorce. After all, the people involved once believe they would spend their whole lives together. Those intense emotions can lead people to behave in uncharacteristically aggressive or irrational manners during divorce. Letting your emotions run the show and focusing on revenge or winning in a divorce can lead you to make questionable legal decisions.

Having an attorney advise you about your divorce strategy can help you avoid common pitfalls that come out of the intense emotions associated with a divorce. A counselor or therapist can also help you process those emotions in a healthy and positive manner. Failing to recognize the power of your emotions can result in making potentially disastrous legal mistakes.

Splitting up a business during a divorce isn't easy

The number of U.S. small businesses run by married couples hovers somewhere around a few million. The fact that so many smaller companies are family-owned and run can make things difficult if a couple decides to divorce. While many spouses find a way to work together even after they split, others are unable to do so. No matter what path they choose, splitting a business up during a divorce requires some legal wrangling to do so.

If you two decide to try to keep your company intact, then you are going to need to start seeing each other more like business partners instead of lifetime mates. You'll need to be able to prioritize your company over your relationship. You'll want to discuss what impact your impending divorce will have on your interaction on the job.

What benefits do children enjoy from having grandparents?

According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), at least 2.7 million homes in this country and run by grandparents who have grandchildren that live with them full-time. Many of those individuals are under the age of 60 and still employed. At least 40% of them either have a disability or are impoverished. Many are forced to take care of their grandkids because their parents develop substance abuse problems or for some other reason. Children who are placed with grandparents derive many benefits from their loved ones taking them in.

Grandparents have had experience in parenting before. While a parent's skills can always stand to be updated, grandmothers and grandfathers tend to be more confident in raising kids because they've already had an opportunity to see what works and doesn't with their own.

Deployment plays a large role in ruining military marriages

The U.S. Department of Defense (DOD) recently published an annual report that highlights how divorce rates among its service members have remained fairly constant since 1996. That percentage currently hovers just below 4%, a number that is similar to the civilian divorce rate. While that index may seem relatively low, researchers at the investigative news firm InsideSources (IS) recently interviewed service members and found that divorce is far more common in the military that the DOD statistics allude to. It's most common among those soldiers that have endured long deployments.

One service member that IS interviewed spoke of how he spent a significant amount of time deployed in Iraq between 2005 and 2010. There were 12 fellow married soldiers in his platoon that he remained in contact with following his return stateside. Only one is still married today. The soldier contends that his fellow soldiers' deployments played a significant role in ruining their marriages.

Common reasons why parents lose custody of their kids

Many parents have the false impression that all discussions about visitation and child custody are over once an Ohio family court judge signs off on any court orders. This is seldom the case though. Certain instances may cause a custody order to be reopened and reexamined. It's possible for a parent to be awarded and later deprived of custody as a result of this.

If a parent engages in domestic violence, then they may lose custody of their kids. A judge may fear that a child may be abused or that they may be exposed to unnecessary conflict if they were to leave them in the home with the abusive parent.

One surprisingly common reason dads don't get shared custody

If you were to visit divorce forums or support pages on various social media platforms, you will likely find people claiming that the Ohio family court system unfairly prefers to hand custody over to the mother in cases of heterosexual divorce.

While there has been a historical precedent in many jurisdictions were the courts chose the primary caregiver as the person with primary custody, that trend died off many years ago. Most states, including Ohio, now focus primarily on the best interests of the children. In fact, the Ohio custody laws have no reference to gender in them whatsoever.

Beware of the stressors that cause military couples to divorce

There are a variety of reasons that cause marriages to fail. One such factor is job stress. Active members of the armed forces often spend significant time away from their spouses while deployed or away at training. Soldiers are constantly under pressure to remain fit and on top of everything in their field. The amount of stress that our soldiers are under leads many to question what impact this has on military divorce.

Divorce is a civil matter. The military doesn't invest a lot of resources into tracking who's getting divorced. Most jurisdictions don't track the profession of those who file to end their marriage. This is why it's hard to get an accurate number of service members who divorce.

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