He was within hailing distance of the 30th anniversary of his wedding when the marriage was officially, legally declared ended. After 27 years of marriage, a man who advises people on their financial lives found himself divorced.
His recent article for the Huffington Post lays out a philosophy and working approach to divorce over 50 that is part of his life now, and part of his website (DivorcedOver50.com): Survive, Revive and Thrive.
An early stage of developing his aspirational philosophy was in realizing that divorce over 50 — or “gray divorce,” as it is widely referred to in news articles on the subject — is increasingly common.
He said the first part of “Survive, Revive and Thrive” — survive — refers to the legal process. You survive it, whether it feels at the outset that you will or not. With the help of an experienced attorney who can help you settle property division disputes (often especially intricate and snarled in over-50 divorces), you get through the divorce, protecting yourself and your assets in the process.
“Revive” is the second part. In your revival, he urges you to practice forgiveness of not only your past partner, but yourself. He says it’s important to realize that your marriage wasn’t a failure, but rather that it simply ran its course.
“Thrive” is the best part, he writes. This is where you might well begin to date again. And that can lead to the sort of physical intimacy that is missing from many marriages as they unravel over time. It’s also when you can assess potential future partners with whom you might reenter marriage.
Getting remarried is not necessarily the goal, but rather an option you might consider among the many others now available to you in this new phase of life.